Am I a “Real” Man?

This is the question that has plagued me for a while now. What is a real man anyway? How do you spot one? Where can I find one to be a mentor? Questions, questions and more questions!

A couple of years back, I hit the age of 25 and had what I call, a Quater-Century crisis. I was going nuts because I couldn’t define who I was and what I was doing on God’s green earth. My dad had recently passed away and I was distraught because I realized I didn’t know the man. I didn’t know what he thought of me, or what he thought of himself. A son needs his father to tell him who he is or atleast who he can be.

I realised that for one thing, a Real Man doesn’t leave their children asking such questions. A real man is not defined by the size of his pecs or his bank account. Nor by the number of women he’s bedded or the size of his spinning rims. A real man isn’t even defined by conquering industry and becoming a billionaire or conquering a country and becoming a life president. 

So what is a real man? I started asking lots of questions and reading lots of books. It’s been a long journey of learning and revelation but I can finally say I think i’m beginning to understand what a real man is. Or atleast I can show you who one is…

I bet your all waiting with baited breathe eh? Well in a nutshell, a real man is Christ. He’s the perfect embodiment of what a man should be. He espouses the qualities of love, character, integrity, vision, purpose, strength, courage, leadership, justice, right attitude, teacher, spirituality, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, discipline and more that define a real man. 

A real man is a man who changes his world for better, whether the world be his home or his workplace or actually the world. A real man makes things move forward. A real man never leaves things (or people) the way he found them but leaves them better. A real man is the foundation of the family. Real men don’t fail their wives and children. Real men don’t cut corners or run from responsibility. Real men respect everyone and are respectable. Real me live by principal and not popular opinion. Real men stand and fight for whats right, even if it costs them their life. Real men are strong but never use that strength to abuse or bully but to protect and nurture. Real men, as the bumper sticker says, love Jesus. Bishop T.D Jakes suggests that if you were to fix all the men in the world, you’ll have fixed 90% of the world’s problems.

To me, that suggests that it’s extremely important for men to discover their power and purpose. Our world is in desperate need for real men of standard. I just finished reading an amazing book given to me by the lovely Mrs. Apprentice. It’s called Understanding the Power & Purpose of Men by Myles Monroe. Every man should..no…MUST read this book. It isn’t optional. You will be transformed by it. You will gain such a unique understanding of the mighty responsibility and power that is our reason for being created. We are basically designed to have dominion over all the works of creation. Being a man is not a joke or some ambigious priveledge. In the words of Spiderman’s Uncle Ben, “with great power comes great responsibility” 

Too many of us struggle with our identity and purpose, with the world and circumstances we live in. Gents, until you learn and embrace the path of a real man, God’s kinda man, you will never have a true sense of worth and fulfillment nor leave a legacy of true worth.

And we all know, we men love to be remembered.

I want people to describe me in that almost Godfather Mafioso manner, “Now that there, is a real man, real cojones!” but more so, i want to hear the words from The Master Himself, “Well done good and faithful servant. This is my son, in whom I am well pleased. Come and enter into my joy”   

So what kinda of man will the world remember you as? 

Shalom