Swine flu or just a rampant case of the sniffles?

I’m sitting at my desk with my nose dripping like a salivating doberman that hasn’t eaten in days. Three whole days i’ve had a serious case of the sniffles and yet to my greater recollection it’s been over 2weeks since I tasted the glorious flesh of swine. Perhaps I’m paranoid but it seems to me that everywhere I turn, people are sneezing, wheezing and coughing, don’t you think? I bet your unconciously reaching for your drenched hankie right now to wipe your sore nose, aren’t you? 

Now I’m not an expert in the field of medicine but isn’t this smacks dangerously fishyly smelly considering there is a worldwide Swine Flu Alert in place. Level 5 for that matter. That means like, nowhere in this solar system are you safe. Good grief. Well, despite all they say, I’m absolutely positive that swine flu just can’t be a problem in UG. I mean, the swine is held in culinary deity around these parts. Even the ruling government make no shame in using it as a metaphor when they say “Twa kuuba embundo” which loosely translates, we killed our pig and so now we’re enjoying it. Sorry opposition. But until you can come up with such cool metaphors, I suggest you find your own animal. As Sevo says, “when you get tired of digging, don’t tell the land to go away.” 

I digress. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, flu. My Archilles heel. The one thing that my body refuses to develop any form of immuninty to. Like superman, it’s great to have kyrptonite to remind you that you aren’t totally invicible. Three days of bed rest and Smallville Season 8 reminded me very clearly. But does it have to be so damned inconvenient for a disease that isn’t actually life threatening? The runny nose, the chinese eyes, the Darth Vader breathing, splitting migraines and a vampiristic aversion to light? I mean do you actually know of anyone who died of Senyiga..? I didn’t think so. 

But this post goes out to all the brave heros out there diligently sloggin onwards despite this incredibly annoying and mysteriously incurable irritation of a disease. Stand strong, keep eating that pork and no, you can’t tell the land to go away. Cause no employer in this town gives sick leave for senyiga. Hell, i should know, i’m my own damn employer and I can’t give myself the day off.  

Shalom