Hi my name is Apprentice and I’m a Negaholic.

The common way to begin sharing a testimony in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is to start by saying your name and admitting your an alcoholic. Its the first step to beating your addiction apparently. Alcoholism is a serious problem. I know, my father was one. Continue reading »

She carries her responsibility on her back. Literally.

I’m talking about Grace, my cleaning lady. She literally carries her responsibilities on her back. You see, this woman works for me, twice a week doing laundry and cleaning. She works hard, she does what she’s told and she does a very good job.

But here’s the thing that amazes me and the gist of this post. She does all this carrying her one and a half year old daughter strapped to her back pretty much most of the time she’s working. Think about it.

This woman is mopping floors, washing clothes, dusting furniture, fetching jerry-cans of water back and forth; all this while standing. She never sits to do any of her work. Mind you, this child is extremely active, curious and generally quite the distraction(read annoyance). Talk about back breaking! At times, she has to stop her work just to calm the kid from those mind numbing screaming tantrums.

How many of us could go to work with our kids strapped to our backs? This child is Grace’s responsibility to care for and provide for. The only difference between her and most of us is that she works with her responsibility right there on her back.

If I did the same, I’d have my wife, daughter, Grace, the guard, my house, my car and whole bunch of other things on my back. I wouldn’t even be able to get up! However, it’s an interesting analogy. Even though I don’t literally carry these people and things on my back when I go to work, mentally they are there.

We all feel that subconscious weight pulling down on us. We’re not really sure what it is but we feel it. It’s the responsibilities we have. We just don’t actually carry them on our backs. It does make you wonder, what are you carrying around with you? Are you carrying things you shouldn’t be? Are you carrying things that matter? Is that second car loan really worth the weight? Or that mistress and love child your cheating on your wife with? Expectations of people around you?

We all have our responsibilities. Some of them our own choosing, some not so. We carry them around with us at all times and it affects the way we work. Grace could do so much more work with out that little child breaking her back but it’s her motivation for work, it’s always visible to her and it spurs her on. She is in no doubt as to why she’s working.

What about you? Do you really know what your responsible for and why? Does it motivate you or break you down? It’s time to look carefully at what your carrying around. As it is written, know the truth and the truth will set you free.

Shalom

I know it’s late but…Happy New Year

Yes, I’m embarrassed. It’s the end of January and I’m writing this now. Do I have an excuse? Sure, how many do you want? But seriously though, the past few weeks have been somewhat surreal for me. An out of body experience you could say.

Anyways, enough digressing.

Happy New Year to all my wonderful readers. It’s 2011, the year of harvest-or so every preacher seems to think. The year of the Movement, or so President Museveni hopes.

It’s a year of uncertain new beginnings for me. All I have is my faith, my new sidekick– an HP Envy laptop; out to find new adventures, new entreprenual pursuits, new relationships and a fresh perspective on God, life, family and business.

This year is mainly a spiritual journey for me. To test and prove my faith in The Master. This year I hope to actually do a lot of the things I wrote about last year.  It’s a year of Servanthood, my goal is to serve as many people as I can to the best of my ability and make a huge positive impact in the lives of the people who come into contact with me each day.

It’s my hope for you that this year will be one of sheer awesomeness; of new hope, success, adventures, breakthrough’s, lessons, growth and love.

God speed and bless .

To Protect and Serve

To Protect and Serve.

This is the motto for the Los Angeles Police Department and probably the biggest joke to many of L.A’s ethnic minority after the Rodney King beatings. But yes, to protect and serve. The calling of every proud police officer around the world. It is also the calling of every Man around the world.

Yes, so if you are male of the species, you were born to protect and serve. What does it mean to protect and serve? Lets explore the generalities of this as I’ve come to learn.

To Protect

One of the key responsibilities of any man, a God given responsibility, is to be a protector. Men are called to protect that which is precious to God and this includes a number of things, a few of which are:

1. God and His Kingdom - Yes. You may wonder how we are supposed to protect the all powerful, all knowing God of creation? We do so by protecting His name, His principles, His Word(bible, gospel and its teaching) His church and it’s members from the eternal onslaught of the devil who seeks to lay waste to all the God has established.
2. Women and children — Our wives and children are to be protected above all others. This goes without saying. They have been put under our care and we are totally responsible for them. Nonetheless, even single men have a responsibility to protect the women around them, whether they be mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, nieces and nephews. Men are leaders and leaders protect those around them.
3. The Natural World — Men are called to protect the wonders of Gods creation. The world around us is being needlessly ravaged and destroyed because some men have forgetten that God gave us a perfect world and we are meant to protect it for Him. That is wrong. The beauty of nature serves us with resources and nourishment and therefore must be protected at all costs.
4. The weak and oppressed — Everywhere you turn, you will see someone being abused or oppressed. Men protect such people. Men protect the poor, the sick, the physically weak, the abused, the exploited, the hungry, the lost. Men protect those who can’t protect themselves. Period.
5. Our Society, history and morality — Men protect the society we live in. Thats probably why most political, military and police are male. Its what men were born to do. Men are to keep out moral decay and chaos. Keep order and peace in. Men are keepers of history and public record. Men are responsible for passing it on to the next generation.

To Serve

While most men are inherently aware that they are Protectors, not many realise that they are also meant to be Servants. Men are meant to spend their lives in the service of a cause bigger than them, one which will outlast them. So how do men serve?

1. Men are servants of God — Our first point of service is to God. Men are used by God to do the heavy lifting for His purposes. From Noah, to Moses to David to Christ Himself, God always calls upon men to lay down their lives in pursuit of something so much bigger than their individual lives that blesses humanity as a whole. So no, serving in church is not a womans thing contrary to popular belief.
2. Men are servants in their homes — serving their wives and children helping them reach their highest potential. And yes, doing the dishes and taking out the trash too. It is imperative to have husbands and fathers who stay the course and raise their children because it has an unprecedented ripple effect on the quality of society we live in. Nothing could be nobler than a man who faithfully serves his children by teaching them, blessing them, listening to them and loving them.
   
3. Men are called to serve their communities — through some form of work that it necessary for the benefit of the whole. Thats why many men feel so frustrated when they have no work. It’s that nature of service through work and the recognition for that service that gnaws at them when they lack work that causes them to lash out. Men were made to work, to tend, to nurture and it’s by this that we serve.

So gentlemen, this is just a brief overview of what it means for us to protect and serve. In your own life, some areas may stand out more or translate differently. However, will you stand up and be a real man? Will you protect and serve your God, your country, your women and children?

Shalom

From greater men than I:

“You seek the heights of manhood when you seek the depths of God. Edwin Louis Cole”

“We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done. Theodore Roosevelt”

“No man has ever risen to the real stature of spiritual manhood until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself. Woodrow Wilson”

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more “manhood” to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind. Alex Karras”

I Believe

Have you ever asked yourself what would you have to believe in order to be the person of your dreams and to live the life you desire? I recently asked myself that question and I came up with this long list.

I believe I am worthy of success and wealth

I believe I a can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I believe I can achieve all my dreams

I believe I am a great husband and father

I believe I that in every adversity or challenge is an equal or greater opportunity

I believe that in utmost Integrity

I believe I am made for greatness

I believe I am loved and appreciated

I believe I have incredible potential that I can never exhaust

I believe I am 100% responsible for my life

I believe I am a winner

I believe I am blessed and highly favored

I believe I can lead with greatness

I believe in serving others lies the key to lasting success

I believe in giving great value delivered with excellence

I believe the more I give of my self, time and resources, the more I get in return

I believe that there is greatness inside of everyone and I merely have to draw it out

I believe what I leave inside my children is more important than what I leave for them

I believe true love is more something I do than something I feel

I believe that the quality of my thoughts dictates the quality of my life

I believe my attitude is more important than my circumstance

I believe I am where I am today because of choices I made in the past.

I believe in doing what I do best and finding others to do what I do worst.

I believe in constant never ending improvement

I believe in reading and learning from others is vital to my growth

I believe I have all the intelligence I need to succeed beyond my wildest dreams

I believe I was created to house the Glory of God

I believe when I believe, anything is possible

I believe the words I speak have great power

I believe that living my dreams inspires others around me to do the same

I believe that I am blessed to be a blessing to others

I believe I can choose my response to any event or circumstance

I believe my thoughts affect my emotions which inturn affect my actions

I believe the people I most spend time with directly affect the quality of thinking and life I have

What would you have to believe?

A dirt grave and the purpose of life

Last week I laid to rest the father of a friend. A great, kind, generous and gentle giant of a man. It hurt to see all that he was, unceremoniously hidden away, under a pile of dirt. None of his money, contacts, accolades and experience could change the fact that when he died, he was put in the ground and covered with dirt.

It really hurt. Why? Because it will be the same for you, and for me.

And I began to question, what life is really all about when it’s all going to end like this? The answer came to me as I looked around me, desperate to make sense of it all.

It was the people. Everyone who was there to see the old man put to rest. I realized our lives are measured by our contribution to the lives of others. How we lived, who we touched for better or for worse and the legacy we leave is what matters. Not the cars, the houses or the fame we acquired. It’s the people we leave behind.

As a father, it’s incredibly important to me what legacy I leave for my children. Who will they be because of how I related to them? I want everyone who comes to see my pile of dirt say “I’m here today, alive, happy, successful, because I knew him. He made my life worth living”.

The children of the late were left angry and hurt with unsaid “goodbyes and I love you’s”. The right investment by him in them would have made an incredible difference to their loss now.

I intend to make a difference, leave a positive legacy.

What about you? How will you spend your life? Will you make a difference? I’d love to hear from you.

Why Should I?

Why should I be stuck in a dead end job because it pays the bills and it’s what everyone else does?

Why should I have to struggle living from paycheck to paycheck and feel like its ok because everyone around me is doing the same or worse?

Why should I be an absentee father to my children because I spend eighteen hours a day trying to put food on the table?

Why should I fail to drive an awesome piece of engineering like a Range Rover Sport because everyone says maintenance and fuel consumption are too high and I’d be much better off with a used Toyota?

Why should I sit around complaining and whining about my life when I can get up and do something about it because everyone says “some people are just unlucky. thats life mwattu”?

Why should I feel bad about myself because I dream of being a billionaire and yet I’m surrounded by poverty and lack?

Why should I compromise my principals and beliefs because I’m afraid people will reject me?

Why should I feel comfortable responding to greetings by saying I’m struggling, or life is tight because it will make people feel better about themselves?

Why should I not have a swimming pool at my house where my kids can play simply because people will talk behind my back about how I wasted money instead of helping them with their self-inflicted problems?

Why should I tolerate life-draining, negative people in my life because it’s the nice thing to do?

Why should I have to bribe to get a service just because everyone around me doesn’t think twice about it?

Why should I feel pressured to bribe God with tithes, offerings, seeds and whatever to get Him to make me super rich because my pastor on TV says so?

Why should I keep hanging out with people who don’t understand or believe in me or my vision for life just because I’ve known them since high school?

Why should I always have to put my desires and wishes aside for everyone else’s which I really couldn’t care about-just because I have to be selfless?

Why should I fear to live the life of my dreams just because everyone around me is too afraid to do so?

Why should I, huh?

Don’t Get Mad, Get Even.

This morning I was sitting in a Matatu (local commuter bus) seething, raging, crying. I’m frustrated and weary. See, everyone who reads this blog knows I have very lofty dreams, ridiculous dreams some of them.

But, Life!

It’s just kicking me in the nuts all the time! No breaks, no helping hands, no retreat, no surrender! I like to say I’m a billionaire in training but right now, I can’t even muster a dollar. Yes, I mean 1$. Talk about hopeless disparity between my reality and my dreams.

So anyways, I’m sitting in this matatu raging at God, the Universe, myself, the high school crush who never gave me time of day, President Obama, the birds, the bees and everything in between, when the oddest thought popped into my head.

A single thought so ridiculous in the context, I almost laughed out loud. Fortunately, my public sensibilities kicked in and I restrained myself from asking the lady seated next to me if she’d heard what I did.

It went something like this.

Me: “I’m so tired. Why can’t you give me a break, what more do you want from me? haven’t I given my best? When will my dreams come true, huh? Why are others less…(insert whatever you want here)…than me succeeding and I’m just so bloody stuck?“
Me: “I’M SO F*&#-ING PISSED“
The Voice: “Don’t get Mad, Get even!“
Me: “Ha ha ha ha ha heee he he heh uh huh.…“
Me: “Wait a minute…Huh? That doesn’t even make sense. Get even with what? With Life?“
The Voice: “YES!”

Got me thinking. Get even with Life. Hit back. Prove Life wrong. Show it that I’m worthy, I’m capable, I’m tough as nails. I’m Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris and Golola Moses put together with a topping of Bruce Lee!

Yes. Overcome my fears and limiting beliefs.
Yes. Become an innovative, dynamic and highly respected billionaire entrepreneur before I’m 40.
Yes. Cultivate and enjoy an outrageous loving, romantic and nurturing relationship with my awesome wife and be worlds best dad to my kids.
Yes. Contribute and positively influence thousands of men to achieve greatness.
Yes, pay off all my debt and be absolutely financially free all the days of my life.
Yes. Drive that ridiculously expensive yet capable Range Rover Sport.
Yes. Get even and then some!

Getting even sounds like much more fun than being pissed off and miserable. Yeah, I’m definitely doing that. I’m going to work harder, better, longer until my goals and dreams are achieved and life begs for mercy. Then the next time I find myself pissed, seething and raging, it will be because all this time, life was a much weaker foe than I thought!

So tell me, are you going to get mad with your life or will you just get even?

Shalom

5 life lessons from my 1year old daughter

I once watched a movie called “Baby Geniuses” which insinuated that children up till they reach the age of 2years are proverbial geniuses! The father of one of children in the story is obsessed with getting his daughter to tell him the secret of the universe before she turns two and becomes dumb!

But, I digress. My point is that you can learn a lot from children. I am constantly amazed just watching my daughter grow up. Over the past week, I’ve seen my daughter come from crawling around the house to walking with all the Swag of a fierce-some but drunk pirate(Jack Sparrow anyone?!) I feel so proud and blessed to see her developing so well.

Anyways, still more digressing. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve learned some important truths about growing and succeeding in life from watching my daughter over the past few months and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

1. Don’t be afraid of falling

My daughter falls on average a hundred times a day. For real. Whether its walking, playing on the bed or sofa, whatever it is she’s doing, you can be sure she’s going to fall a gazillion times in a day. In fact, i think she finds it extremely strange that we her parents don’t seem to fall, ever. Ha! If she only knew! The amazing thing is though, it doesn’t stop her. No matter how many times she falls, she’ll pick herself up again and again and again. And then again. I gave up trying to pick her up. Too exhausting.

Life lesson: No matter how many times you fail in life, pick yourself up and keep going. Again and again and then again. Falling is just part of growing.You can’t learn to walk without falling a few hundred times so why should succeeding at a relationship, a career, a journey be without its falls? Pick yourself up.

2. Be annoyingly persistent when you want something

On my bed side is a little cupboard where i keep whatever books, wallets, phone and other nick nacks nearby. Before my daughter could even crawl properly, she took note of this little treasure chest of mine. She determined that she needed to have whatever I keep in there. I marveled watching her learn to lean precariously over the side of the bed to pull open the drawer and reach beyond her little arms could possibly do so to pull out a book — ripping several of them in the process or worse, my wallet. What was amazing was seeing the daily persistence and how she kept adapting till she could finally open it and get whatever she wanted from the drawer. You should see the look of satisfaction on her face whenever she’d succeed. Priceless.

Life lesson: Be annoyingly persistent in going after what you want and keep adapting till you finally attain your goal. Life isn’t going to just give you what you want. There are so many obstacles to overcome but keeping trying different things till you succeed.

3. You gotta let things go!

One of the hardest things I have to do is to punish my dearest Princess from time to time. It’s incredibly hard to spank her. Sometimes I wonder if she even understands why I do it. Often I have to remove something from her grasp for her own safety or restrict her from going somewhere. Now this vexes her to no end, evidenced by her banshee screams and crocodile tears. It breaks my heart to cause her to cry. But every time I do so, every time, in a matter of minutes she’ll have forgotten and flashed me her polar cap melting smile or come to me for a hug. Sometimes immediately after I’ve spanked her she’ll come to me for comfort! You see, she’s very forgiving. She doesn’t hold a grudge and seek revenge on me and all my descendants. She doesn’t crawl into a corner and seethe and play the victim. She’s gets hurt, she cries, she moves on. Period

Life Lesson: Let things go. Forgive people. Forgive yourself. You’ll move a lot faster and higher in life when you don’t let things stick to you. They only weigh you down. And you’ll be a lot happier too.

4. Be curious about everything

Albert Einstein once said “Never lose a holy curiosity”. My daughter is the poster child for curiosity. Everything is unique, special and wonderful to her. It doesn’t matter if its the television flashing all these tiny people at her or a freshly filled diaper that could make the dead wrinkle their noses. She’s curious about everything, turning them every which way, banging them, shaking them, tasting them(its horrifying to see her try to taste the garbage!) She doesn’t take anything for granted or simply at face value. She must explore everything. No matter how many times she sees something, there’s always room for exploration. Soon, I’ll have the nightmare of actually having to answer her billions of incessant questions about everything. Bracing myself.

Life Lesson: Don’t take life for granted. Don’t assume you know everything there is to know. Be curious about everything. Question yourself, your beliefs, your results. Smell every flower, taste every meal, try every adventure. It’s through curiosity that life’s greatest inventions, breakthroughs and adventures have come.

5. Don’t take no for an answer

“Kemi No. NO. NOOOOOOOO! Don’t touch that. Leave that alone. Stay away”. This is now what you hear all day long in my house. I often wonder if we’re not permanently damaging her spirit by constantly saying no to everything she wants to touch or do. Here’s the funny thing though. She doesn’t listen. For the most part anyway. She’ll keep on doing what your telling her not to. Now as you can imagine, that’s pretty frustrating. But there’s an upside to this. If she constantly acquiesced every time I said don’t do this, don’t do that, she’d never learn to walk, to develop her motor skills, learn from her painful experiences and grow. Huh! Who’d a thunk it?

Life Lesson: In life, there will always be naysayers. People who tell you NO. You can’t do that. You can’t be a success. You can’t achieve your dreams. You gotta learn to ignore them and keep on anyway. Life will never make things easy for you(and neither will most people, or the government) but you gotta keep pressing on. Be annoyingly persistent. Life will relent eventually.

So as you can see, children are brilliantly fascinating. I read once that as much as we think we are our children’s teachers, it’s actually they who teach us. I agree. I’m pretty sure I still have a lot to learn from my guru daughter and to be honest, I’m terrified but equally excited.

I’ll keep you posted with more insights as she decides to reveal them to my less than genius self. And for the rest of you who are also in the school of toddlers, what insights have you learned? I’d love to hear them.

Shalom

Some wise sayings;

“You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.”  ~Franklin P. Jones

“A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.”  ~Author Unknown

“While we try to teach our children all about life,Our children teach us what life is all about.“
~Angela Schwindt

“Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. “~Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto

“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.  ~Frank A. Clark”

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million.” ~Walt Streightiff

Reflections on Your Greatness

By Michael Dalton Johnson

Our lives are often swept along by the duties and responsibilities we have assumed. We don’t have time to reflect on the course of our lives. If your obligations and commitments seem to control your life, you’ll find these observations useful.

You are great. You are far greater than you imagine. You are a unique entity given the power to create your own life. When you look outside yourself for self-definition you are giving your power away. However, when you understand and accept that you alone possess the power to define yourself and your life, there are dramatic changes. You will find new clarity, focus and confidence. You’ll also find that using this incredible gift is both exhilarating and challenging.

You are in charge. Think of your life as a movie. You are the writer, director, producer and star. You choose your co-stars and extras. Whether the movie is a smash or a flop is in your hands.

Your thoughts determine your outcomes. This is one of the great mysteries. There are a lot of theories about this phenomenon but no one really knows how it works. However, it does work and reveals the astonishing power of your thoughts. If you think you are average, you are. If you think you can’t win, you won’t. Conversely, if you see yourself succeeding, you will. If you expect great things to come to your life, they’re on their way.

You bring others with you. Your courage and confidence to examine your life and make changes will have a profound effect on those around you. When you lift yourself up, others are lifted up too.

Your life. Your responsibility. The first and most important rule is to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Following this rule puts you in command. Winston Churchill said, “The price of greatness is responsibility.” While I’m certain he was talking about fighting wars and leading nations, his statement applies to your life as well.

You have the power. Life will inevitably send you your share of setbacks, problems, disappointments and losses. These things are beyond your control. How you react to them is not. Listen to the voice within you and realize you have a choice. You have the greatness to persevere, to forgive, to smile, to lift yourself and others up and to move on.