My last blog post was all about getting back on the horse. Walking the talk. You know, manning up.

However, today, I had a revelation that I believe will simply catapult my efforts to being my most awesome self.

As you may know, I do a lot of reading about success, growth, self-actualization, generally being the most kick ass version of yourself. The simplest and most common formula for success out there is:

 “Find your passion. Live your passion. Make obscene amounts of money from your passion”.

And when you live your passion, work is no longer work but pure bliss and every area of your life is infused with energy and enthusiasm because of this. Simple enough right? I mean, don’t we all know what we’re passionate about?  Yeah right!

Statistics show that only 5 out of every 100 people is ever going to be successful. So that means only 5% of the entire 7billion people on this planet actually know what their passion is and are living it out; not to mention successfully earning a living out of it. Chances are most of us don’t even know anyone in that elite five percentile.

As you can imagine, I’ve been super frustrated because I don’t have that “Oooh Oooh, I can’t wait to get up in the morning and go do this. I’m so blessed to have this job” special feeling that the successful talk about.

I mean even the disenchanted and rather suicidal sounding Preacher in the bible puts it like this:

 “For people and animals share the same fate—both breathe and both must die. So people have no real advantage over the animals. How meaningless! Both go to the same place—they came from dust and they return to dust.  For who can prove that the human spirit goes up and the spirit of animals goes down into the earth? So I saw that there is nothing better for people than to be happy in their work. That is why we are here! No one will bring us back from death to enjoy life after we die.”

So really, what’s the point in spending 12hours of your day everyday for your whole life, doing something that you don’t love? It’s been driving me crazy trying to figure out what I would love to do every waking moment of my life and not get tired of it. (Oh and travelling around the world enjoying good food, fine wine, fast cars and the company of exotic women does not count!)

So today it hit me. Why stress myself out looking for my passion when I can simply live passionately and let my passion find me?

Simple right? Alot of these successful men and women have shared that they actually didn’t start out where they are now but by simply grabbing life by the horns and living fully, they eventually found their destined path. Sure there were probably alot of false starts, bankruptcy’s, broken hearts and eating out of garbage cans but sometimes, there’s just no damned clear path with neon signs telling you what you were born to do.

Sometimes, your lucky, your blessed and you just know what you were born to do. Most of the time though, you get there after massive trial and error. Some would say it’s Gods way of testing whether your truly worthy of you destiny or your just a charlatan who would squander it away.

I think most of these people out there mislead us into believing that finding your passion is so easy, like, how you just know what you’d like to have for dinner friday night. I have come to believe its much more difficult than that for many of us. It’s more like finding your true self in the clutter of the expectations and labels thrust upon us by parents, friends, society as a whole. It takes courage, time, effort and even pain.

So here’s my advice to all of us who are struggling to find our destiny, our passion or simply work that we enjoy.

Just live your life passionately! Stop chasing passion and just be passionate about everything you do.

Be open to all the possibilities. Try things you’d never consider doing in your right mind. Do what you think you’d like to do. Embrace pain, failure and embarrassment.  Because it’s in the multiplicity of lifes seemingly random events and experiences, that we find out who we are, what we can not stand and very importantly, what we are most passionate about.

Most of all have faith in God. He will, in His perfect timing, set you in the right place and straighten the crooked paths you’ve taken.

Ahhh, I feel a huge burden off my chest now that I let go of that nagging need to find my passion. Go a head, try it. And be sure to leave a comment telling me all about your new found freedom.

I’m sick and tired.

Tired of not being my authentic self and pursuing my unique God given purpose.

Tired of living in constant fear and dread instead of faith & confidence in God.

Tired of being unhappy, stressed and unmotivated.

Tired of being lazy, apathetic and always procrastinating.

Tired of being weak willed with poor discipline and follow through.

Tired of being timid, lacking confidence in myself and my potential.

Tired of not believing in myself or my dreams enough to pursue them relentlessly.

Tired of being less than a shadow of the awesome man I know I can be.

Tired of seeing others achieve their dreams while I’m still stuck in the same place.

Tired of doing work that I have no passion for just so I can make ends meet.

Tired of having to make ends meet!

Tired of not making a greater positive impact and contribution to peoples lives.

Tired of pleasing everyone around me at the expense of my own convictions and beliefs.

Tired of people telling me how much greatness is inside of me and not being able to live up to it.

Tired of reading success stories and self help books only to see the same old results.

Tired of looking at my daughter and knowing I’m not being the role model she deserves.

Tired of my wife believing me to be a great man and not actually being great.

Tired of looking forward to going to bed only to spend the night dreading getting up.

Tired of being sick and tired.

I believe we are all born to lead in some form or other. As a husband, father and entreprenuer I am a growing leader. As such I’m always looking for resources to learn. I got this in an email from Chris Widner which I thought I’d share with you to help you on the path. Be blessed.

1. Continually pursue personal and professional growth
2. Treating everyone I come in contact with the dignity and respect they deserve
3. Finding the way for as many people as possible to benefit from my decisions and actions
4. Be willing to make and carry out hard decisions without regard to personal expediency
5. The highest level of personal and corporate integrity
6. Tell the truth and be honest, regardless of potential personal loss
7. Think “team” first
8. Finding a person who can mentor me
9. Finding at least one person I can personally mentor
10. Help others discover their strengths and function in them
11. Maintain my priorities and organize my life and work according to them
12. Live a life of balance between work, family, and leisure
13. Pursue balanced growth in body, soul and spirit — understanding that each area affects the others innately
14. Pursue what is best — for myself, my organization, and for others — and not settle for that which is simply “good enough”
15. Do work and live a life that leaves behind a lasting legacy of excellence
16. Build a team to surround me in order to enhance my strengths and make up for my weaknesses
17. Surround myself with people who will tell me the truth and not just what they think I want to hear
18. Become a great listener
19. Be an Extraordinary Follower of those who are my leaders
20. Help others develop their skills
21. Dream big dreams and encourage others to do the same
22. Stretch my followers enough to make them grow but not so much as to discourage them
23. Be driven by vision, mission and purpose, not by circumstances or expediency
24. View the world through optimistic eyes
25. Embrace the concept of change as a positive force for improvement
26. Be responsible in my actions as they relate to my commitments to myself and others
27. Be tenacious in my pursuits
28. Give more than I receive and to be characterized by generosity
29. Show courage in the face of challenge
30. Be an example of dedication and commitment
31. Share the privileges of leadership with those who follow me
32. Give power away to those who can share in it responsibly and help the organization
33. Use both my head and my heart when leading
34. Manage my time according to my priorities
35. Be the first to sacrifice when sacrifice is needed
36. Make all short-term decisions with the long-term goals in mind
37. Develop a successor
38. Develop excellent communication skills
39. Use a variety of means of influence
40. Be the primary strategy setter for the organization
41. Teach others
42. Inspire others
43. Keep my eye on the big picture
44. Making the complex simple
45. Motivate others
46. Consider others as important as myself
47. Identify future leaders
48. Train and develop future leaders
49. Regularly reward accomplishment
50. Allow followers to fail in their attempts at growth and innovation
51. Work leadership development into every level of the organization
52. Have a clear vision
53. Remain calm in difficult situations
54. Keep a sense of humor
55. Remove people from their position as soon as I know they need to go
56. Empathize with others

Have you ever asked yourself what would you have to believe in order to be the person of your dreams and to live the life you desire? I recently asked myself that question and I came up with this long list.

I believe I am worthy of success and wealth

I believe I a can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I believe I can achieve all my dreams

I believe I am a great husband and father

I believe I that in every adversity or challenge is an equal or greater opportunity

I believe that in utmost Integrity

I believe I am made for greatness

I believe I am loved and appreciated

I believe I have incredible potential that I can never exhaust

I believe I am 100% responsible for my life

I believe I am a winner

I believe I am blessed and highly favored

I believe I can lead with greatness

I believe in serving others lies the key to lasting success

I believe in giving great value delivered with excellence

I believe the more I give of my self, time and resources, the more I get in return

I believe that there is greatness inside of everyone and I merely have to draw it out

I believe what I leave inside my children is more important than what I leave for them

I believe true love is more something I do than something I feel

I believe that the quality of my thoughts dictates the quality of my life

I believe my attitude is more important than my circumstance

I believe I am where I am today because of choices I made in the past.

I believe in doing what I do best and finding others to do what I do worst.

I believe in constant never ending improvement

I believe in reading and learning from others is vital to my growth

I believe I have all the intelligence I need to succeed beyond my wildest dreams

I believe I was created to house the Glory of God

I believe when I believe, anything is possible

I believe the words I speak have great power

I believe that living my dreams inspires others around me to do the same

I believe that I am blessed to be a blessing to others

I believe I can choose my response to any event or circumstance

I believe my thoughts affect my emotions which inturn affect my actions

I believe the people I most spend time with directly affect the quality of thinking and life I have

What would you have to believe?

Last week I laid to rest the father of a friend. A great, kind, generous and gentle giant of a man. It hurt to see all that he was, unceremoniously hidden away, under a pile of dirt. None of his money, contacts, accolades and experience could change the fact that when he died, he was put in the ground and covered with dirt.

It really hurt. Why? Because it will be the same for you, and for me.

And I began to question, what life is really all about when it’s all going to end like this? The answer came to me as I looked around me, desperate to make sense of it all.

It was the people. Everyone who was there to see the old man put to rest. I realized our lives are measured by our contribution to the lives of others. How we lived, who we touched for better or for worse and the legacy we leave is what matters. Not the cars, the houses or the fame we acquired. It’s the people we leave behind.

As a father, it’s incredibly important to me what legacy I leave for my children. Who will they be because of how I related to them? I want everyone who comes to see my pile of dirt say “I’m here today, alive, happy, successful, because I knew him. He made my life worth living”.

The children of the late were left angry and hurt with unsaid “goodbyes and I love you’s”. The right investment by him in them would have made an incredible difference to their loss now.

I intend to make a difference, leave a positive legacy.

What about you? How will you spend your life? Will you make a difference? I’d love to hear from you.

Why should I be stuck in a dead end job because it pays the bills and it’s what everyone else does?

Why should I have to struggle living from paycheck to paycheck and feel like its ok because everyone around me is doing the same or worse?

Why should I be an absentee father to my children because I spend eighteen hours a day trying to put food on the table?

Why should I fail to drive an awesome piece of engineering like a Range Rover Sport because everyone says maintenance and fuel consumption are too high and I’d be much better off with a used Toyota?

Why should I sit around complaining and whining about my life when I can get up and do something about it because everyone says “some people are just unlucky. thats life mwattu”?

Why should I feel bad about myself because I dream of being a billionaire and yet I’m surrounded by poverty and lack?

Why should I compromise my principals and beliefs because I’m afraid people will reject me?

Why should I feel comfortable responding to greetings by saying I’m struggling, or life is tight because it will make people feel better about themselves?

Why should I not have a swimming pool at my house where my kids can play simply because people will talk behind my back about how I wasted money instead of helping them with their self-inflicted problems?

Why should I tolerate life-draining, negative people in my life because it’s the nice thing to do?

Why should I have to bribe to get a service just because everyone around me doesn’t think twice about it?

Why should I feel pressured to bribe God with tithes, offerings, seeds and whatever to get Him to make me super rich because my pastor on TV says so?

Why should I keep hanging out with people who don’t understand or believe in me or my vision for life just because I’ve known them since high school?

Why should I always have to put my desires and wishes aside for everyone else’s which I really couldn’t care about-just because I have to be selfless?

Why should I fear to live the life of my dreams just because everyone around me is too afraid to do so?

Why should I, huh?

This morning I was sitting in a Matatu (local commuter bus) seething, raging, crying. I’m frustrated and weary. See, everyone who reads this blog knows I have very lofty dreams, ridiculous dreams some of them.

But, Life!

It’s just kicking me in the nuts all the time! No breaks, no helping hands, no retreat, no surrender! I like to say I’m a billionaire in training but right now, I can’t even muster a dollar. Yes, I mean 1$. Talk about hopeless disparity between my reality and my dreams.

So anyways, I’m sitting in this matatu raging at God, the Universe, myself, the high school crush who never gave me time of day, President Obama, the birds, the bees and everything in between, when the oddest thought popped into my head.

A single thought so ridiculous in the context, I almost laughed out loud. Fortunately, my public sensibilities kicked in and I restrained myself from asking the lady seated next to me if she’d heard what I did.

It went something like this.

Me: “I’m so tired. Why can’t you give me a break, what more do you want from me? haven’t I given my best? When will my dreams come true, huh? Why are others less…(insert whatever you want here)…than me succeeding and I’m just so bloody stuck?“
Me: “I’M SO F*&#-ING PISSED“
The Voice: “Don’t get Mad, Get even!“
Me: “Ha ha ha ha ha heee he he heh uh huh.…“
Me: “Wait a minute…Huh? That doesn’t even make sense. Get even with what? With Life?“
The Voice: “YES!”

Got me thinking. Get even with Life. Hit back. Prove Life wrong. Show it that I’m worthy, I’m capable, I’m tough as nails. I’m Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris and Golola Moses put together with a topping of Bruce Lee!

Yes. Overcome my fears and limiting beliefs.
Yes. Become an innovative, dynamic and highly respected billionaire entrepreneur before I’m 40.
Yes. Cultivate and enjoy an outrageous loving, romantic and nurturing relationship with my awesome wife and be worlds best dad to my kids.
Yes. Contribute and positively influence thousands of men to achieve greatness.
Yes, pay off all my debt and be absolutely financially free all the days of my life.
Yes. Drive that ridiculously expensive yet capable Range Rover Sport.
Yes. Get even and then some!

Getting even sounds like much more fun than being pissed off and miserable. Yeah, I’m definitely doing that. I’m going to work harder, better, longer until my goals and dreams are achieved and life begs for mercy. Then the next time I find myself pissed, seething and raging, it will be because all this time, life was a much weaker foe than I thought!

So tell me, are you going to get mad with your life or will you just get even?

Shalom

I once watched a movie called “Baby Geniuses” which insinuated that children up till they reach the age of 2years are proverbial geniuses! The father of one of children in the story is obsessed with getting his daughter to tell him the secret of the universe before she turns two and becomes dumb!

But, I digress. My point is that you can learn a lot from children. I am constantly amazed just watching my daughter grow up. Over the past week, I’ve seen my daughter come from crawling around the house to walking with all the Swag of a fierce-some but drunk pirate(Jack Sparrow anyone?!) I feel so proud and blessed to see her developing so well.

Anyways, still more digressing. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve learned some important truths about growing and succeeding in life from watching my daughter over the past few months and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

1. Don’t be afraid of falling

My daughter falls on average a hundred times a day. For real. Whether its walking, playing on the bed or sofa, whatever it is she’s doing, you can be sure she’s going to fall a gazillion times in a day. In fact, i think she finds it extremely strange that we her parents don’t seem to fall, ever. Ha! If she only knew! The amazing thing is though, it doesn’t stop her. No matter how many times she falls, she’ll pick herself up again and again and again. And then again. I gave up trying to pick her up. Too exhausting.

Life lesson: No matter how many times you fail in life, pick yourself up and keep going. Again and again and then again. Falling is just part of growing.You can’t learn to walk without falling a few hundred times so why should succeeding at a relationship, a career, a journey be without its falls? Pick yourself up.

2. Be annoyingly persistent when you want something

On my bed side is a little cupboard where i keep whatever books, wallets, phone and other nick nacks nearby. Before my daughter could even crawl properly, she took note of this little treasure chest of mine. She determined that she needed to have whatever I keep in there. I marveled watching her learn to lean precariously over the side of the bed to pull open the drawer and reach beyond her little arms could possibly do so to pull out a book — ripping several of them in the process or worse, my wallet. What was amazing was seeing the daily persistence and how she kept adapting till she could finally open it and get whatever she wanted from the drawer. You should see the look of satisfaction on her face whenever she’d succeed. Priceless.

Life lesson: Be annoyingly persistent in going after what you want and keep adapting till you finally attain your goal. Life isn’t going to just give you what you want. There are so many obstacles to overcome but keeping trying different things till you succeed.

3. You gotta let things go!

One of the hardest things I have to do is to punish my dearest Princess from time to time. It’s incredibly hard to spank her. Sometimes I wonder if she even understands why I do it. Often I have to remove something from her grasp for her own safety or restrict her from going somewhere. Now this vexes her to no end, evidenced by her banshee screams and crocodile tears. It breaks my heart to cause her to cry. But every time I do so, every time, in a matter of minutes she’ll have forgotten and flashed me her polar cap melting smile or come to me for a hug. Sometimes immediately after I’ve spanked her she’ll come to me for comfort! You see, she’s very forgiving. She doesn’t hold a grudge and seek revenge on me and all my descendants. She doesn’t crawl into a corner and seethe and play the victim. She’s gets hurt, she cries, she moves on. Period

Life Lesson: Let things go. Forgive people. Forgive yourself. You’ll move a lot faster and higher in life when you don’t let things stick to you. They only weigh you down. And you’ll be a lot happier too.

4. Be curious about everything

Albert Einstein once said “Never lose a holy curiosity”. My daughter is the poster child for curiosity. Everything is unique, special and wonderful to her. It doesn’t matter if its the television flashing all these tiny people at her or a freshly filled diaper that could make the dead wrinkle their noses. She’s curious about everything, turning them every which way, banging them, shaking them, tasting them(its horrifying to see her try to taste the garbage!) She doesn’t take anything for granted or simply at face value. She must explore everything. No matter how many times she sees something, there’s always room for exploration. Soon, I’ll have the nightmare of actually having to answer her billions of incessant questions about everything. Bracing myself.

Life Lesson: Don’t take life for granted. Don’t assume you know everything there is to know. Be curious about everything. Question yourself, your beliefs, your results. Smell every flower, taste every meal, try every adventure. It’s through curiosity that life’s greatest inventions, breakthroughs and adventures have come.

5. Don’t take no for an answer

“Kemi No. NO. NOOOOOOOO! Don’t touch that. Leave that alone. Stay away”. This is now what you hear all day long in my house. I often wonder if we’re not permanently damaging her spirit by constantly saying no to everything she wants to touch or do. Here’s the funny thing though. She doesn’t listen. For the most part anyway. She’ll keep on doing what your telling her not to. Now as you can imagine, that’s pretty frustrating. But there’s an upside to this. If she constantly acquiesced every time I said don’t do this, don’t do that, she’d never learn to walk, to develop her motor skills, learn from her painful experiences and grow. Huh! Who’d a thunk it?

Life Lesson: In life, there will always be naysayers. People who tell you NO. You can’t do that. You can’t be a success. You can’t achieve your dreams. You gotta learn to ignore them and keep on anyway. Life will never make things easy for you(and neither will most people, or the government) but you gotta keep pressing on. Be annoyingly persistent. Life will relent eventually.

So as you can see, children are brilliantly fascinating. I read once that as much as we think we are our children’s teachers, it’s actually they who teach us. I agree. I’m pretty sure I still have a lot to learn from my guru daughter and to be honest, I’m terrified but equally excited.

I’ll keep you posted with more insights as she decides to reveal them to my less than genius self. And for the rest of you who are also in the school of toddlers, what insights have you learned? I’d love to hear them.

Shalom

Some wise sayings;

“You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.”  ~Franklin P. Jones

“A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.”  ~Author Unknown

“While we try to teach our children all about life,Our children teach us what life is all about.“
~Angela Schwindt

“Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. “~Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto

“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.  ~Frank A. Clark”

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million.” ~Walt Streightiff

So I hate to admit it but i’m not rich. Phew, there, I’m out of the closet. Apparently tho, If you took the time to really sIt down and study rich people closely, you would come to the other shocking revelation of the day.

Rich people aren’t really any better than you! Yes, they aren’t smarter, more beautiful or even as fun as you. So why are they rich and your not? Well according to T. Harv Eker, bestselling author of “The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”, there are 17 distinct differences between you and the rich, which are:

1. Rich people believe: “I create my life.” Poor people believe: “Life happens to me.”
2. Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to not lose.
3. Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.
4. Rich people think big. Poor people think small.
5. Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.
6. Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people.
7. Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.
8. Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.
9. Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.
10. Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.
11. Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.
12. Rich people think “both.” Poor people think “either/or.”
13. Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.
14. Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.
15. Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money.
16. Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.
17. Rich people constantly learn and grow. Poor people think they already know.

So, I’m taking a bit of time, well plenty of time to dwell on these and compare with the rest of my life to identify why i’m not rich yet. I hope this helps you because I want everyone of you to succeed.

Shalom

By Michael Dalton Johnson

Our lives are often swept along by the duties and responsibilities we have assumed. We don’t have time to reflect on the course of our lives. If your obligations and commitments seem to control your life, you’ll find these observations useful.

You are great. You are far greater than you imagine. You are a unique entity given the power to create your own life. When you look outside yourself for self-definition you are giving your power away. However, when you understand and accept that you alone possess the power to define yourself and your life, there are dramatic changes. You will find new clarity, focus and confidence. You’ll also find that using this incredible gift is both exhilarating and challenging.

You are in charge. Think of your life as a movie. You are the writer, director, producer and star. You choose your co-stars and extras. Whether the movie is a smash or a flop is in your hands.

Your thoughts determine your outcomes. This is one of the great mysteries. There are a lot of theories about this phenomenon but no one really knows how it works. However, it does work and reveals the astonishing power of your thoughts. If you think you are average, you are. If you think you can’t win, you won’t. Conversely, if you see yourself succeeding, you will. If you expect great things to come to your life, they’re on their way.

You bring others with you. Your courage and confidence to examine your life and make changes will have a profound effect on those around you. When you lift yourself up, others are lifted up too.

Your life. Your responsibility. The first and most important rule is to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Following this rule puts you in command. Winston Churchill said, “The price of greatness is responsibility.” While I’m certain he was talking about fighting wars and leading nations, his statement applies to your life as well.

You have the power. Life will inevitably send you your share of setbacks, problems, disappointments and losses. These things are beyond your control. How you react to them is not. Listen to the voice within you and realize you have a choice. You have the greatness to persevere, to forgive, to smile, to lift yourself and others up and to move on.