If you think you can, you can!

Seeds of Greatness

You can be a total winner, even if you’re a beginner
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can
You can wear the gold medallion, you can ride your own black stallion
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can

It’s not your talent or the gifted birth
It’s not your bank book that determines worth
It isn’t in your gender or the color of your skin
It’s your attitude that lets you win

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before
It makes no difference what the halftime score
It’s never over ‘til the final gun
So keep on trying and you’ll find you’ve won

Just grab your dream and then believe it
Go out and work, and you’ll achieve it
If you think you can, you can
If you think you can, you can

By Denis Waitley

Quick question. How’s your Mindspace?

The other day I was speaking to my cousin who is one of the closest people to me and he shared a very interesting revelation. You see he has a dream to own an Audi S8 which costs over 120,000$ and thats before the local revenue boys even ask for your shipping documents. Not to mention he wants to have a net worth of about 5million dollars in the next 5years. Now thats a BHAG!

Now, he realised that to actually achieve these dreams, he needs to have a much larger Mindspace than what he currently has. What is Mindspace you ask? Well some call it mind set but i say it’s the capacity or scale of the positive and empowering thoughts and beliefs you have.

Basically as long as your thoughts and beliefs are congruent with your dreams, you will achieve them. In my cousins case, if his thoughts and beliefs allow him to comprehend flying to Germany to customize the machine he wants, wire the money to Audi, put it on a plane to deliver it, give URA another cheque of UGX 100Million, then reach into his wallet and pull out another UGX 250,000 to fill up the gas tank, well lets just say it will probably happen very quickly. His Mindspace tells him that this is as normal as putting on clothes.

However, if his Mindspace is too small, well lets just say the closest he’ll ever get to that machine is pictures and videos on the internet.

Napoloen Hill says “What ever the mind of a man can concieve and believe, he will achieve” and the Master Himself says “As a man thinketh, so is he”. The point I’m trying to make is that our mindspace dictates directly the kind of results we have in life whether they be successes or failures.

My cousin rightly realised that inorder to achieve his dreams, he absolutely needs to increase his mindspace. Further more, his mindspace has to grow so that he can also accommodate the changes necessary to actually own such a car. The house where he will park that car, the maintenance costs to run it, the amount of money he’ll need to carry in his wallet daily, the friends he’ll have(and enemies), the standing in society that he’ll project, the level of business transactions he’ll be executing.

A great Mindspace is essential for a great life!

So if you have a dream, you will have to enlarge(or shrink) your mindset to accommodate that dream and everything that goes with it. Basically wealthy, successful and happy people have very large and positive mindspaces while poor, unhappy failures have tiny dark mindspaces.

So i ask again, how’s your mindspace?

Apprentice and the 7C’s

It’s almost an obsession of mine to understand how to be a super achiever in my own life and this blog is dedicated to sharing with you what I learn. Brian Tracy is one of the foremost success gurus out there and a personal favorite of mine. He says success comes when you have these seven C’s in firmly in place. Here are Tracy’s 7C’s for your success.

After having studied top achievers and peak performers over the past 25 years, I’ve concluded that these unique men and women, have in most cases, mastered what I call the Seven C’s of Success.

1. Clarity—Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you are, what you believe in and what you want.

2. Competence—You can’t climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now.

3. Constraints—Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from within. Find out what is constraining, in you or your company, and deal with it.

4. Concentration—The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and see it through until it’s done takes more character than anything else

5. Creativity—Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity needs to be exercised like a muscle; if you don’t use it you’ll lose it.

6. Courage —Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness to do the things you know are right.

7. Continuous learning—Read, at the very least, one book a week on business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day exploring e-mail, sending messages, going through Web sites, because like exercise, it’s the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you get away from it, you’ll lose your edge.

The Apprentice: My Greatest Fear

A series of events over the past few days have left me feeling low spirited, frustrated and defeated. I feel like a fraud and a failure. I’m not the person living the life I know I should be.I’m not achieving my goals or following my dreams. To encourage myself I decided to rewrite one of my favorite poems by Marriane Williamson, “Our Greatest Fear” that I came across in my usual morning readings.

What is My Greatest Fear

My Greatest Fear Is n­ot that I am Inadequate,
My Greatest Fear Is That I am Powerful Beyond Measure,
That I can do and achieve beyond my wildest dreams
It is my Light, ­not my Darkness That Frightens Me,

I Ask Myself, who am I to be Brilliant and Wise?
Who am I to be Wealthy and Respected?
Who am I to be Handsome and Loved?
Who am I to be Talented and Fabulous?

But the real question is, Who Am I not To Be?
I am a Child Of God, a Prince in His Kingdom.
My playing small does ­not serve the World.

There is ­nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that others won’t feel insecure around Me.
I was born to manifest the Glory Of God within me.
It is n­ot just in some people out there; it is in Me too.

And, as I let my own Light shine,
I am consciously giving you permission to do the same.
As I am liberated from my own fear,
My presence automatically liberates You.

~The Apprentice~

Discovering the Apprentice’s Core Values

A couple of months ago, I was speaking with the Rogue King, about what drives us to do the things we do and make the choices that we do. He suggested to me that perhaps we should look deeper, to our core values.

So what are our core values? Well simple put they are the things we believe in the most that direct what and how we think about our life. There are hundreds of values that we each hold but some hold more power over us than others. For example some peoples core value is love. For others it’s family or power, money, religion etc.

It is important for us to know and choose our core values are because they color everything we do in life. It’s like our constitution. A person whose core value is Family for example will make all decisions about what they do around their need for family. The career he chooses, the car he drives, the type of person he marries. It’s all connected.

I decided to look at my own core values and I thought I’d share with you what I have chosen to be my guiding values in order to achieve my dreams and life purpose.

Love

I live and give love to all around me including myself. I give love regardless of how I feel but as directed by Gods word.

Responsibility

I am 100% responsible for my life and the results I experience. Everything I am, have or experience is a result of the choices and actions I’ve made in the past. I always have the ability to choose my response in life.

Integrity

I live congruently with my beliefs and principles and do not compromise them. My word is my bond.

Positivity

I maintain a positive attitude at all times, always looking for the upside in every situation. I believe every problem is an opportunity disguised.

Faith

I put my complete trust in God and the gifts, skills and talents he has placed in me.

Teachability

I am a constant learner, always striving to get better each day, in every way.

Courage

I stand and face my fears each and every day to accomplish great things. I seek opportunity and not security.

Compassion

I extend kindness, compassion, understanding and grace to all who need it.

Giving

I am a generous giver of my money, time and resources for the highest good of all.

Self Discipline

I maintain strong control over my will, emotions, passions and thoughts at all times keeping them focused for my greater growth

Diligence

I work hard at everything I do with the utmost care, excellence and attention to detail.

Excellence

I hold myself to the highest standards in all  that I am and do. I do not live according to the worlds standard but to Gods

Health

I work diligently to ensure y body is in great physical condition through healthy lifestyle choices

Creativity

I believe in using all of my God given creativity to imbue my life, relationships, work and passions with fun, excellence and impact

Personal Growth

I constantly seek to improve on every area of my being through learning and application. The better I am, the better my life will be.

Vision

i always have a clear Godly vision for my life which i pursue daily.

Peace

I seek to live in peace with everyone in as much as it depends on me. I gaurd my inner peace and I’m guided by it.

I am still discovering more of myself and adjusting accordingly. Some values we have don’t benefit us and it’s imperative to identify them and remove them while picking out ones that pull us forward. I’d like to hear some of your core values so drop me a line.

Shalom

A blessed & exciting 2010

Hey everyone, Happy new year to you all and welcome back. It’s great to be alive and back again for a new year. You could be sick, in jail, or dead or dying but nope, here you are reading this blog. So lets thank the Master for life and another chance to do things better.

The beginning of the year is a particularly intriguing time. It’s perhaps the only time in the year (except for our birthdays) that we really take time to reflect on the past and future seriously. Thats why resolutions are generally made at the start of the year.

For the last three years I’ve been in the habit of not making resolutions. I find that new year resolutions generally set me up for failure. They are usually not made with the right convictions and then followed up with really weak efforts. By end of March, I’m caught up in the waves of daily life and nearly forgotten most of my resolutions . Then the end of the year comes and I beat up myself because I didn’t even make a scratch in my resolutions. Does that sound familiar?

My solution to this crap cycle is to have a constant set of personal goals that I work on regardless of whether its a new year or not. I find this to be much a more progressive and fulfilling approach. Have your 3months, 1year, 5year and 10year goals at all times. They give direction, focus and hope.

An interesting alternative for new year resolutions is having an overall Yearly Theme. I found this on Steve Pavlina’s blog, an individual whose material i find to be exceptionally deep and insightful. His approach is to have a general theme for each year. For example 2008 his theme was Health, 2009 Relationships. This gives you a nice framework that helps you focus on a particular area of your life for one whole year whilst still working on your regular life goals.

Whatever you choose to do for 2010, what I can say is any resolution, goal or theme is better than just floating through the year and seeing what happens. As the saying goes “if you don’t know where your going, any road will take you there”.

I read somewhere that we tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in a single year and underestimate what we can do in ten years. It hit me so hard to realise that we’ve just completed the first decade of the century! Think about that for a moment. 10 years. I think of all that i could have achieved by now if i’d only made serious commitments and goals ten years ago!

Heck, i simply decided to have flimsy resolutions and see where the year takes me. Now I’m still as far away from achieving my dreams as i was 10years ago! That is disturbing. I’m certainly not going to make that mistake with the next ten. I encourage you not to make it either.

So I bid you health, wealth and love in every aspect of your life in 2010. May be prosperous, may you become a greater person than you ever dreamed, may you conquer giants and love and be loved deeply. And may the Master be your guide, your strength, your refuge and your hope in this year and beyond. Amen

Let’s make 2010 a spectacular year.

Shalom

“I hope you live more, love more, laugh more, dare more, take mind blowing risks and achieve more in the new year.” New years SMS from a friend

The Apprentice & the 13 unbreakable laws of success

Today in my mail, I discovered a pleasant bonus in one of my weekly inspirational newsletters. The 13 absolutely unbreakable laws of success by Brian Tracy, one of my favorite motivational speakers. Here it is in simple and no nonsense breakdown of things you must learn to do to achieve great and lasting success in your life. I give you, the 13 Absolutely Unbreakable Laws of Success.

1. The Law of Control:

You feel good about yourself to the degree at which you feel you are in control of your own life.

2. The Law of Responsibility:

You are completely responsible for everything you are and for everything you become and achieve.

3. The Law of Direction:

Successful people have a clear sense of purpose and direction in every area of their lives.

4. The Law of Compensation:

You are always fully compensated for whatever you do, positive or negative.

5. The Law of Service:

Your rewards in life will always be in direct proportion to the value of your service to others.

6. The Law of Applied Effort:

All things are amenable to hard work.

7. The Law of Overcompensation:

If you always do more than you are paid for, you will always be paid more than you are getting now.

8. The Law of Preparation:

Effective performance is preceded by painstaking preparation.

9. The Law of Forced Efficiency:

The more things you have to do in a limited period of time, the more you will be forced to work on your most important tasks.

10. The Law of Decision:

Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action.

11. The Law of Creativity:

Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person.

12. The Law of Flexibility:

Success is best achieved when you are clear about the goal but flexible about the process of getting there.

13. The Law of Persistence:

Your ability to persist in the face of setbacks and disappointments is your measure of your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed.

Shalom

The Apprentice shares his favorite watering holes

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what some of the sites and blogs really successful people visit regularly. I mean, have you ever wondered what blogs Gates, Buffet, Branson or Madiba visit regularly to learn, or get encouragement? Well, i’m definitely not in the league of those dudes, yet; but i felt i’d share with you my favorite watering holes. I’m confident that alot of these will help any one grow their business, their relationships and themselves. So here it goes, in no particular order.

1.Crosswalk.com

A complete portal for Christian content, featuring blogs, devotions, financial, marital and career advice articles. This is where I start my day. Nothing like a fresh word from The Master to set my heart on the right path for the day. An excellent site.

2. The Art of Manliness

I am a man and true manly men in this day and age are an endangered species. This site is dedicated to recapturing and rekindling the dying art of being a man. I love it cause it breaks things down as simply and straightforward as can be. No being politically correct here. Just sweet, kick-in-the-butt advice on what Manliness is all about. A must read for all males!

3. Problogger & Daily Blog Tips

These are both community sites for professional bloggers. They have excellent articles on blog writing, monetization, SEO and memberships. A great resource for those who want to make a living or business from blogging.

4. Steve Pavlina’s Personal Development for smart people

This has to be my all time favorite blog for personal development resources. This guy has some questionable spiritual beliefs but overall, his insights and advice are timeless. I keep going back again and again to the archives section and always find something new to read and learn. Awesome resource. Highly recommended.

5. CNET Crave

This one appeals to my love of all things geeky, techy and gadgetry. It helps keep me informed about all the happenings around the globe. Considering that it’s a part of the CNET family, it’s a definate trusted source. A daily stop for technophiles.

6. Inc.com

A wonderful community for all things Entrepreneurial. It has articles, showcases, blogs and advice. It’s a great stop for inspiration and growth for small business owners.

7. Enterpreneurs Journey

A lovely site that appeals to both Entrepreneurs and Bloggers. Yaro Starak is accomplished in both these areas. He has a wonderful insight, avudde wwala (he’s come from far). He’s what you’d call a blogger entrepreneur, a guru in internet marketing. His posts are usually quite long but well worth the read.

8. Six Revisions & Hongkiat

I am by profession, a designer. Web, Graphic and Motion. These sites are a daily source for inspiration, trends and tutorials for me. A great help in my daily work. Highly recommended to all designers. DesignKingdom.ug is my own initiative to offer the same value to Ugandan artists, similar to these two sites.

9. Income Diary

A blog created by 20year old Michael Dunlop. It’s all about blogger entrepreneurs with interviews, advice, tips, success stories. I love this cause it makes an emphasis on showing you how you can live the internet lifestyle, those who are living it and how practically you too can live it. Inspiring is the word.

10. Darren Hardy’s blog

Darren is the editor of Success Magazine. His blog is obviously all about achieving success in all areas of your life. It’s updated only about once a week but a great resource nonetheless.

11. Dan Millers Blog

Dan is a Christian Entrepreneur and Life coach. As a Christian myself, it’s important to me to achieve my success in an honest and integrity based manner that glorifies The Master. Dan has excellent articles and posts that help me see what all other success gurus talk about in light of biblical principles. Love-lu-lay.

So ofcourse I have a ton of other sites I visit regularly but these are the ones i feel most drawn to regularly. I would advise everyone of you who visits tons of blogs to use Google Reader to effectively manage all your different feeds. Blogspirit will help you manage all your Ugandan blogs.

I’m always looking to add more wonderful resources to continue my personal growth and I would like to here from you. What are some of your daily reading lists?

Shalom

“Always keep learning. It keeps you young.”-Patty Berg

“In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.”-Eric Hoffer

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence to see for themselves.” -Will Rogers

Let It Be You by Jim Rohn

I was richly blessed by this. We often ask ourselves, Why can’t I ever be the one who succeeds, why can’t I ever be the one with great relationships, why can’t I be the one interviewed in African Woman… Well the great news is it can be you. Jim Rohn puts it so nicely in this almost poetic piece which I thought i’d share with you today. Let it be you.

Each and every day, there are people all around the country and world who are living their dreams. Millionaires are made every day. Families are experiencing tremendous relationships. People are becoming more and more healthy. Lifelong learners are growing intellectually and improving their chances for success.

The fact is, living the life of your dreams is possible. People prove that every day. Someone somewhere is going to get rich, get healthy and improve their life. My recommendation is this: Let it be you!

Have you ever wanted to make more money? Have you ever looked at someone who has money and wished it could be you? People think about getting wealthy all the time, when only a small percentage actually do. But any of the masses could. Someone is going to start a business. Someone is going to make a great investment. Someone is going to begin the journey to great wealth. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to decide to improve their relationships. Someone is going to enjoy love with their family. Someone is going to schedule some meaningful time with their friends. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to go back to school to improve their life. Someone is going to become a lifelong learner. Someone is going to set a goal to read a book or listen to a CD each week for the next year. So why not let it be you?

Someone is going to look in the mirror and see that they need to lose a little weight and make the decision to become healthy. Someone will run their first marathon. Someone will join an aerobics class and improve their health. Why not let it be you?

I think that by now you get the point: Everyday people are improving their lives. Whether you do or don’t doesn’t matter to those who do. They are going to do it, regardless. It is simply a matter of a decision being made. Let that person be you!

You may be asking, “OK, Jim, but how?’ Well, let’s cover the very simple actions.

The first and most important thing to do is to make a commitment to work on yourself. Are you going to improve or stay the same? No matter what you have achieved, you are at a certain point right now. What you have achieved in the past is fine, but it doesn’t make a difference for the future. The decision about what you will become is made each and every day. Each day, someone is making the decision to better himself. Let that person be you!

The second is to make a plan. Once you have decided to become better, you will have to have a plan. It doesn’t have to be a long, intricate plan. It can be simple. Save a dollar a day. Walk a mile a day. Read an article a day. It’s a simple plan with achievable goals. Someone is going to develop a plan that will take them into the future of their dreams. Let it be you!

The third is to begin to act. All of the great ideas, without action, become stale and useless. The key to turning dreams into reality is action. People who have great ideas are a dime a dozen. People who act on their dreams and ideas are the select few, but they are the ones who gain the health, wealth and wisdom that is available. Someone will act today. Let it be you.

My encouragement to you is to stop looking at others who live the good life, wishing that you were as well, and begin to commit to your improvement, develop a plan and act on it. Someone is going to. Let it be you!

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

Celebrating one year of marriage and pondering the lessons learned.

On September 5th, my wife and I celebrated our first year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that a whole year has actually past. It feels like only a few days ago that we were stressing over guest lists, decorations and insane parents. I still remember how things came to a head the day before the wedding and my then fiancé and I had a major blowout and didn’t speak till 2hours before the service. At the time, I wished doubted everything in my life except gravity but today we are so much stronger and better people than we were back then.

The bible in the Book of Deuteronomy 24:5, advises that recently married couples should take the first year off to learn to love one another. I cannot overstate how vital this can be towards a successful marriage in the long haul. I thank The Master that He has orchestrated events such that I have been able to enjoy several months uninterrupted by work or war to learn to love my wife. I wish I could have had a proper year but someone needs to put food on the table right?

To put it simply, the past year has been such a powerful experience for me as a man. I have debunked so many myths, learnt so many truths and I believe in the process, become more of a man than I’ve ever been before. I would like to share some key learning’s with you now.

1. Marriage (and life) is not about you!

   Yes, that’s right. It’s not about you. Ha, no one likes to here that one. Marriage is about spending the rest of your life consciously choosing to love your spouse 110% and help them become everything that God created them to be. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. Most of us get married thinking about what we’re going to get out of marriage. Love, sex, money, security, companionship, connections, a cook, a daddy, whatever. This self-centered mentality will always and has always led to poor marriages and divorce. Marriage is about giving up yourself for the benefit of your spouse. Only when you give of yourself selflessly, consistently, genuinely and tirelessly will you have an awesome marriage. So what about my needs you ask? Why get married if I get nothing out of this? Well actually you do get a lot out of marriage. I mentioned them already; Love, sex, money, security, companionship, connections, a cook, a daddy, whatever J Seriously though, the funny thing about marriage is this. If you chose the right partner (and often, even if it was the wrong one), God has worked it out that whatever you pour into your marriage, you will receive back in equal measure and more. So what I discovered was, the more I lay down my selfish desires and focus on fulfilling my wife’s needs, the more my wife would work at fulfilling mine. Ha?! Who’d have thought it?

2. Marriage is very hard work.

   I can almost hear all the groans at that one. Yes, marriage is work and hard work at that too. In any way you color it, it simply isn’t easy for any two people with totally different upbringing, cultures and thinking to live together as a unit and you expect it to be seamless. If anyone told you that this will be a stroll on the beach, well, they lied. And you should sue them. Now. You could use the extra money anyway. To make a marriage work, there is a lot of sacrifice, sweat, tears and sometimes even blood. There will be fights over sillyness like, should the toothpaste be squeezed in the middle or the bottom. There will be anger, frustrations and crying over unmet expectations. There will be brokenness. There will be soccer nights and soap nights. There will be snoring and there will be farting. There will be in-laws and out-laws. There will be babies.So you see, there has to be a lot of work to make this work. Any man can tell you it’s a lot of work to sit still and listen to a woman. We’re just hopeless at emotional, touchy feeling sharing times. It’s a lot of work for women to understand her mans fundamental need for respect even when he doesn’t deserve it. It’s hard work to find the time to make love between diaper changes and 12 hour work days. Marriage is a lot of hard work. The upside is, when you do it right, it’s the most rewarding hard work you’ll ever do.

3. Love is not a feeling and only God can provide the added juice!

   Hmmm. Yes. Love is not a feeling. The bible tells us that there are different kinds of love. Eros– sexual love, Phileos– affectionate friendly love and Agape-Unconditional love. Now the greatest of these is Agape. It has nothing to do with feelings. It’s a daily, moment by moment choice to do whatever is in the highest good for another. In marriage, we basically start with Eros – sexual love or emotional love. It quickly fades after a few months, even the honeymoon. I first heard from someone close to me long ago said in “Marriage, love is not enough” I didn’t get it at first but what it means is that the emotional love will not take you through marriage. You will need Agape love to get through those incredibly tough times when you can’t stand your spouse. When your husband comes home late for the umpteenth time after hanging out with the boys, only a God enabled choice can allow you to greet him with a smile and serve him his dinner and ask him how his day was as you massage his shoulders. So yes, you will need Agape love to make your marriage last and it’s only by the grace and love of God that you can be able to show the same to your spouse.

4. Marriage can propel or break a man

   We have all heard the great adage; behind every great man there is a great woman. And behind every black man, are the police! But yeah, this is another truth I’ve come to learn in the last year. In Genesis 2, God says, it’s not good for man to be alone so let us create a suitable helper. The plan of God is for men to have dominion over the earth. Now, women’s activists should slow down before they bite my head off. What that means is that we are supposed to work hard and subdue the earth in order to prosper. But there is a catch. We cannot do it alone. We need the input, encouragement, respect and help of a good woman. Yeah boy’s you heard me, you can do great things but you can do unimaginable things with a great woman in your life. My wife, God bless her, is one of those awesome women. I have in the last year become so much more of a man in thought, character and spirit than in the last 29 years. I can see that I’m going to accomplish incredible things in my life. Boys, you need a woman who is your number one fan, who believes in you no matter what, who praises you and worships the ground you walk on. Trust me, ladies out there and men, if this is how a man is treated, he will always do great things.Of course the corollary is true. A bad woman can destroy even the best of men. It’s incredible the amount of influence women have on us men. If used wrongly, it can lead any man down a path of destruction. I’ve seen good men become liars, cheats and thieves because of a woman in his life. Wars have begun because of women, the Great battle of Troy. So what’s my point? Men, be very careful when choosing a wife because she can either make you or break you.

5. Marriage is not a 50/ 50 partnership.

   This is one of the greatest myths people have when going into marriage. It’s not a 50/ 50 partnership. It’s a 100/ 100 partnership. If you go into this thinking you can give just 50% and your partner will do the other 50%, you will be disappointed. Marriage requires both parties go into this giving 100% of themselves, their time, their resources, their souls. If you are holding back, having a secret bank account, not opening up to each other fully or being honest, not forging and being compassionate, I can guarantee you that your marriage will never be as full and holistic as you’d like. Someone close to my wife advised her to have a secret bank account hidden from me so that she can keep a lifestyle for herself. The basic concept of “My money (hers) is my money and your money (mine) is our money” She disregarded this advice much to the gain of our marriage. Total disclosure and openness has fostered a level of trust and intimacy that I cannot describe. You cannot afford to withhold any part of yourself in Marriage if you wanted to have a great one. Marriage is about two people becoming one, that’s two wholes becoming one, not two halves.

6. Marriage has shown me what a real man is supposed to look like

   As most of you know, throughout my blogging I haven’t hidden the fact that I believe the world is in dire need of real men. There are too many boys running around messing up the world for the rest of us. Marriage has shown me what a real man is supposed to look like. Marriage has shown me that real men are;

   • Family Conscious- They prioritize their wife and kids above all other worldly things. Nothing except God takes priority over them.
   • Responsible- They don’t blame anyone for their life or circumstances.
   • Providers- They take care of their family and those who have no one to help them.
   • Protectors- protects his family physically, emotionally and spiritually.
   • Priests – A man was designed by God to be the spiritual head of his home, to pray and intercede for them. A real man is tied into Jesus.
   • Teachers – A man is a teacher. He has to teach those under his care the right way to live and do things as shown to him by God.
   • Principled - Men have to have N.U.T.S Non negotiable Unalterable Terms. Principles of virtue, integrity, character, discipline, kindness, leadership etc by which they live.
   • Selfless – Real men are not self-centered. They live their lives to make the lives of others better according to God’s love.
   • Diligent Hard workers — Real men are diligent hard workers. They work hard to provide for their families and provide a secure future for them leaving a wholesome legacy for their children.

7. Life doesn’t always go according to plan but often times works out a whole lot better.

   This is a funny one. In life we all have plans. When I’m twenty I’ll do this. When I get a promotion, I’ll do that. When I get married, I’ll do that. But life likes to throw curve balls. My wife and I planned a simple small wedding which we would pay for ourselves. EEEEHH! Wrong. We planned to go to a certain exotic place for our honeymoon. EEEHHH! Wrong again. We planned to spend the first two years without children so we could enjoy us. EEEHHH! Wrong again. What happened. Well, we had a small wedding but we didn’t manage to pay for it ourselves. We didn’t end up in the exotic spot but instead discovered a beautiful suburban location is South Africa that is now on my top 5 holiday destinations forever. We didn’t get to have our two years but every day when I look at our daughter, I melt with awe and joy. The lesson is, even though you don’t get what you plan, you can often time get something a whole lot better than you had planned. Lesson, don’t sweat it. For every lost plan, there is a bigger and better one. You just have to keep an open mind.

I can clearly tell you though, there is still quite a lot for me to learn but I’m looking forward to learning them all. What I can say is, marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution when God is in the midst of it. It’s challenging but rewarding and the best human relationship of all. To those who aren’t married and want to, I encourage you to. Those who are married and having a rough time, there’s always hope.

Shalom.