This morning I was sitting in a Matatu (local commuter bus) seething, raging, crying. I’m frustrated and weary. See, everyone who reads this blog knows I have very lofty dreams, ridiculous dreams some of them.

But, Life!

It’s just kicking me in the nuts all the time! No breaks, no helping hands, no retreat, no surrender! I like to say I’m a billionaire in training but right now, I can’t even muster a dollar. Yes, I mean 1$. Talk about hopeless disparity between my reality and my dreams.

So anyways, I’m sitting in this matatu raging at God, the Universe, myself, the high school crush who never gave me time of day, President Obama, the birds, the bees and everything in between, when the oddest thought popped into my head.

A single thought so ridiculous in the context, I almost laughed out loud. Fortunately, my public sensibilities kicked in and I restrained myself from asking the lady seated next to me if she’d heard what I did.

It went something like this.

Me: “I’m so tired. Why can’t you give me a break, what more do you want from me? haven’t I given my best? When will my dreams come true, huh? Why are others less…(insert whatever you want here)…than me succeeding and I’m just so bloody stuck?“
Me: “I’M SO F*&#-ING PISSED“
The Voice: “Don’t get Mad, Get even!“
Me: “Ha ha ha ha ha heee he he heh uh huh.…“
Me: “Wait a minute…Huh? That doesn’t even make sense. Get even with what? With Life?“
The Voice: “YES!”

Got me thinking. Get even with Life. Hit back. Prove Life wrong. Show it that I’m worthy, I’m capable, I’m tough as nails. I’m Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris and Golola Moses put together with a topping of Bruce Lee!

Yes. Overcome my fears and limiting beliefs.
Yes. Become an innovative, dynamic and highly respected billionaire entrepreneur before I’m 40.
Yes. Cultivate and enjoy an outrageous loving, romantic and nurturing relationship with my awesome wife and be worlds best dad to my kids.
Yes. Contribute and positively influence thousands of men to achieve greatness.
Yes, pay off all my debt and be absolutely financially free all the days of my life.
Yes. Drive that ridiculously expensive yet capable Range Rover Sport.
Yes. Get even and then some!

Getting even sounds like much more fun than being pissed off and miserable. Yeah, I’m definitely doing that. I’m going to work harder, better, longer until my goals and dreams are achieved and life begs for mercy. Then the next time I find myself pissed, seething and raging, it will be because all this time, life was a much weaker foe than I thought!

So tell me, are you going to get mad with your life or will you just get even?

Shalom

I once watched a movie called “Baby Geniuses” which insinuated that children up till they reach the age of 2years are proverbial geniuses! The father of one of children in the story is obsessed with getting his daughter to tell him the secret of the universe before she turns two and becomes dumb!

But, I digress. My point is that you can learn a lot from children. I am constantly amazed just watching my daughter grow up. Over the past week, I’ve seen my daughter come from crawling around the house to walking with all the Swag of a fierce-some but drunk pirate(Jack Sparrow anyone?!) I feel so proud and blessed to see her developing so well.

Anyways, still more digressing. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve learned some important truths about growing and succeeding in life from watching my daughter over the past few months and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

1. Don’t be afraid of falling

My daughter falls on average a hundred times a day. For real. Whether its walking, playing on the bed or sofa, whatever it is she’s doing, you can be sure she’s going to fall a gazillion times in a day. In fact, i think she finds it extremely strange that we her parents don’t seem to fall, ever. Ha! If she only knew! The amazing thing is though, it doesn’t stop her. No matter how many times she falls, she’ll pick herself up again and again and again. And then again. I gave up trying to pick her up. Too exhausting.

Life lesson: No matter how many times you fail in life, pick yourself up and keep going. Again and again and then again. Falling is just part of growing.You can’t learn to walk without falling a few hundred times so why should succeeding at a relationship, a career, a journey be without its falls? Pick yourself up.

2. Be annoyingly persistent when you want something

On my bed side is a little cupboard where i keep whatever books, wallets, phone and other nick nacks nearby. Before my daughter could even crawl properly, she took note of this little treasure chest of mine. She determined that she needed to have whatever I keep in there. I marveled watching her learn to lean precariously over the side of the bed to pull open the drawer and reach beyond her little arms could possibly do so to pull out a book — ripping several of them in the process or worse, my wallet. What was amazing was seeing the daily persistence and how she kept adapting till she could finally open it and get whatever she wanted from the drawer. You should see the look of satisfaction on her face whenever she’d succeed. Priceless.

Life lesson: Be annoyingly persistent in going after what you want and keep adapting till you finally attain your goal. Life isn’t going to just give you what you want. There are so many obstacles to overcome but keeping trying different things till you succeed.

3. You gotta let things go!

One of the hardest things I have to do is to punish my dearest Princess from time to time. It’s incredibly hard to spank her. Sometimes I wonder if she even understands why I do it. Often I have to remove something from her grasp for her own safety or restrict her from going somewhere. Now this vexes her to no end, evidenced by her banshee screams and crocodile tears. It breaks my heart to cause her to cry. But every time I do so, every time, in a matter of minutes she’ll have forgotten and flashed me her polar cap melting smile or come to me for a hug. Sometimes immediately after I’ve spanked her she’ll come to me for comfort! You see, she’s very forgiving. She doesn’t hold a grudge and seek revenge on me and all my descendants. She doesn’t crawl into a corner and seethe and play the victim. She’s gets hurt, she cries, she moves on. Period

Life Lesson: Let things go. Forgive people. Forgive yourself. You’ll move a lot faster and higher in life when you don’t let things stick to you. They only weigh you down. And you’ll be a lot happier too.

4. Be curious about everything

Albert Einstein once said “Never lose a holy curiosity”. My daughter is the poster child for curiosity. Everything is unique, special and wonderful to her. It doesn’t matter if its the television flashing all these tiny people at her or a freshly filled diaper that could make the dead wrinkle their noses. She’s curious about everything, turning them every which way, banging them, shaking them, tasting them(its horrifying to see her try to taste the garbage!) She doesn’t take anything for granted or simply at face value. She must explore everything. No matter how many times she sees something, there’s always room for exploration. Soon, I’ll have the nightmare of actually having to answer her billions of incessant questions about everything. Bracing myself.

Life Lesson: Don’t take life for granted. Don’t assume you know everything there is to know. Be curious about everything. Question yourself, your beliefs, your results. Smell every flower, taste every meal, try every adventure. It’s through curiosity that life’s greatest inventions, breakthroughs and adventures have come.

5. Don’t take no for an answer

“Kemi No. NO. NOOOOOOOO! Don’t touch that. Leave that alone. Stay away”. This is now what you hear all day long in my house. I often wonder if we’re not permanently damaging her spirit by constantly saying no to everything she wants to touch or do. Here’s the funny thing though. She doesn’t listen. For the most part anyway. She’ll keep on doing what your telling her not to. Now as you can imagine, that’s pretty frustrating. But there’s an upside to this. If she constantly acquiesced every time I said don’t do this, don’t do that, she’d never learn to walk, to develop her motor skills, learn from her painful experiences and grow. Huh! Who’d a thunk it?

Life Lesson: In life, there will always be naysayers. People who tell you NO. You can’t do that. You can’t be a success. You can’t achieve your dreams. You gotta learn to ignore them and keep on anyway. Life will never make things easy for you(and neither will most people, or the government) but you gotta keep pressing on. Be annoyingly persistent. Life will relent eventually.

So as you can see, children are brilliantly fascinating. I read once that as much as we think we are our children’s teachers, it’s actually they who teach us. I agree. I’m pretty sure I still have a lot to learn from my guru daughter and to be honest, I’m terrified but equally excited.

I’ll keep you posted with more insights as she decides to reveal them to my less than genius self. And for the rest of you who are also in the school of toddlers, what insights have you learned? I’d love to hear them.

Shalom

Some wise sayings;

“You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.”  ~Franklin P. Jones

“A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.”  ~Author Unknown

“While we try to teach our children all about life,Our children teach us what life is all about.“
~Angela Schwindt

“Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. “~Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto

“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.  ~Frank A. Clark”

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million.” ~Walt Streightiff

Ok, so every now and then, i’m minding my own business doing my reading when I come across something that completely blows my mind. This article is one of those things. It’s by Dan Miller of 48days to the work you love and No More Mondays fame and it’s all about the options we miss out on in life because we don’t think creatively. I don’t want to ruin it with my blithering so just read and be blessed.

Here’s a short illustrative story (excerpted from No More Mondays):

There May Be More Solutions Than What You First See …

Many years ago in an Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender. The old and ugly moneylender fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter, so he proposed a bargain. He would forgive the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal, but the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. The girl would have to reach in and pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.  If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail until the debt was paid.  They were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer’s field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble. Now, imagine that you were the girl standing in the field. What would you have done? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities: (1) The girl could refuse to take a pebble—but her father would then be thrown in jail. (2) The girl could pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from debt and imprisonment. Or (3) The girl could pull out both black pebbles in the bag, expose the moneylender as a cheat, and likely incite his immediate revenge.  Take a moment to think through this story. I’ve used it with the hope that it will help you see alternate solutions beyond the obvious ones. The girl’s dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. You may be in a similar situation. You may be in a job you hate—but the pay is great. You have two choices: (1) You can stay in a job you hate. (2) You can leave the job but will then give up the great pay. Are these really all the options?

Here is what the girl did.  She put her hand into the money bag and drew out a pebble.  Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble strewn path, where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. “Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble was black, it would have to be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl would have changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.  Now, how could you see more creative solutions for your situation?

Now let’s go back to that teacher – remember the one who wondered if she should be in the school that aligned with her values but didn’t pay much – or in one that paid double but conflicted with much of what she believed.  Did she perhaps have options she was not seeing?
Here’s a related example –

Several years ago Jim was eager for a change.  He had an academic background but was just exiting a career in the military.  Over a casual dinner conversation his wife asked Jim, “If money were not important, what would you do?” Jim responded immediately, “I’d sit around the house and read old history books.” Guess what Jim does today. He reads old history books. He creates audio CDs as he brings to life old historical novels with his dramatic, engaging readings. With primarily a home schooling customer base, children beg to hear the next installment as they are simultaneously learning the rich stories from history. Recently I received this note from Jim – “Just thought you’d like to know that, doing what I love, my profits increased this year to over 104K.  A great year for me that was a lot of fun and a lot of work.  All with a seven second commute.”

If you created ten alternatives for moving forward rather than just two, what are the chances you could uncover an application that allows you to engage your passion – and make more money than you ever imagined?

Dan Miller, President of 48 Days, specializes in creative thinking for increased personal and business success.  Dan is the author of the widely acclaimed 48 Days To The Work You Love andNo More Mondays.  He writes regularly for many popular magazines and web portals, including CBN.com, Crosswalk.com, New Man, AARP and Success magazine.

Shalom my good blogren.

it has been many moons since my last post and I’m pleased to say it’s not because of the blogcks. The Master has gone and blessed my wife and I with  the most beautiful little baby girl. I have been on a 3 week paternity leave and just returned. I thought, there’s no better way to launch my new blog premises than with a few pics of my new heart.

Ladies and Gents, I give you, Kemigisha Alanna Birungi — “Wonderful Beautiful Blessed One”

She’s alot taller than she looks

It will be interesting to journal my many adventures as a teacher and not a student. Parenting is the highest calling in human society. We are in great proportion as direct result of the parenting we received.

I didn’t have a very good father growing up and I’ve always wanted nothing more than to be a great father to my own children. Now I have the chance. I pray the Master will guide me in this amazing calling. I’m really kinda terrified to be sure. Holding her little body in my arms as she gazes upto me, totally dependent on me and her mother for everything. Phew! So to any parents in the blogsphere, petesmama, any help will be muchos appreciated.

Here’s to an exciting future. And welcome to the new Apprentice blog

Shalom